NASMIJEŠI SE
LAPRDAM - 31. 3. 2014.
Fata iz vica
Mujo:
"Haso, čega se ti najviše bojiš?"
Haso:
"Zmija, a ti?"
Mujo:
"Žena!"
Haso:
"Pa to ti je isto."
Mujo:
"Nije, za zmije imaš protuotrov!"
Nazove slovenski carinik hrvatskog i pita ga:
-Kak dolgo bi pa vi Hrvati zdržali da vas Rusi napadnejo?
-Hrvat pogleda u knjižicu i veli:
-12 dana
-a kak dolgo da vas Američani napadnejo?
-9 dana
- a da vas napadnemo mi Slovenci?
Hrvat izvadi drugu knjižicu i veli:
-Ne znam precizno, za vas je zaduženo lovačko društvo Bregana ...
Dojde mali Štefek iz škole i sav je v brigama.
- Kaje Štefek? Kaj si tak stiha? Pita babica.
- Ma nikaj, dobil sam zadaću v školi, ali mi vi babica tu nebrete pomoći.
- Zakaj ne? Pa pitaj!
- Moramo napisati kakva je razlika između seksa, grupnog seksa i ljubavi...
Grunta malo babica i veli:
- Ma slušaj ti mene Štefek, ve ti bum ja sve objasnila!
- Slušam!
- Za vreme rata, da sam još bila mlada i dobrodržeča, jen dan sam kopala kuruzu i došel je jen švabo. Otprl je šlic i pokazal da bi on štel onu stvar delati... Kak je bil rat i ja sam bila strahu, ja sam mu dala.
Švabo je svoje napravil i još mi je platil. To ti je bil seks.
- Aha... Dobro.... A kaj je onda bil grupni seks??
- Je, drugi dan se je Švabo vrnul, s pet-šest kolegi... I ja sam opet bila strahu i tak su svi napravili svoje. I svi su pošteno platili. I to ti je bil grupni seks.
- Aha, dobro... A kaj je onda ljubav? Pita Štefek.
- Ma to su ti posle partizani zmislili da nebi morali platiti....
Žena:
- Dragi, 'oćeš u krevet?
Muž:
- Neću, žao mi te.
Žena:
-Zašto?
Muž:
- Pereš, kuvaš, čistiš, ideš na posao, čuvaš decu,
još ti samo fali da te i ja jeb..m.
Pozdrav
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