LAPRDAM - 14. 12. 2014.
Svaštara genijalnih (pri)misli
1
Bože, pomiluj ove bezgrešne!
Mi grešni imamo se s kime pomilovati!
2
Danas mi piše u horoskopu:
“Započeli ste tajnu ljubavnu romansu”
Izgleda da je ona toliko tajna, da niti ja ne znam za nju ….
3
Stigla čudna vremena i nitko se ne želi vjenčati …
Osim pederčina i lezbi!
4
PAŽNJA!!! AKCIJA!!!
Kupiš kineske prezervative i dobivaš na poklon dječji dodatak!!!!
5
Čuvajte se malih žena!
Da je to valjalo, naraslo bi!
6
Idem psihijatru ispričati svoje probleme!
Pa nek’ se on malo živcira …
7
Kad čekam u nekom redu, živciraju me ljudi ispred mene …
Ovi iza mene su super likovi!
9
Ne bih se začudio da mi jednog dana pokucaju na vrata i kažu: “Došli smo po vaš bubreg!”
“Kakav moj bubreg?”
“Onaj koji ste klikali NEXT, NEXT, I AGREE!”
10
Sise su dokaz kako se muškarac može koncentrirati i na dvije stvari odjednom!
11
Čudne su te naše supruge i žene … Prvo prijete majci kako će se udati, za zatim prijete mužu kako će se vratiti majci!!!!
12
Žene žive duže od mušlaraca zato što nemaju žene.
13
Doktor kaže da mi svaki komad pržene slanine koju pojedem oduzima 9 minuta života. Računajući tako, trebao sam umrijeti 1732. godine.
Bolan Mujo, čuo sam da si se oženio?
Jesam!
I to blizancima?
Aha.
A kako ih razlikuješ?
Pa, brat je nešto viši od nje…
Jedino se u Bosni kaže:
Gdje si .
A čovjek stoji ispred tebe.
Kako Bosanac bari djevojku:
- Radiš li bona?
- Radim.
- Hoćeš da ti sredim trudničko?
Kaže Štef Joži: - "Čuj, nekaj bi ti pripovedal."
"A kaj?"
"Ja bi štel da sam žirafa."
"A zakaj moj Štefek?"'
"Pa, kad bi pil, gemišteka, bi mi dugo išel kroz grlo."
A Joža će mu:
"A kaj bi, Štefek, štel bit kad bi povraćal?"
Jedva čekam da padne snig. Da Bog dal da pada samo pri meni u Vučići. Kaj bi se vi drugi veselili.
I za kraj - mlika kulko voliš. Samo treba dobro vuć.
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I to je sve. Nima politike. Samo zajebancija. A nudarte i vi kega napišite. Ne budi vam zapoviđeno. Bog i fala i nemojte kaj zamerit.
14. 12. 2014.
Nešo
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